Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
