I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
