just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
