Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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