I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
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