are you so shy because you have an std?
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future�
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
