You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
