did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
