i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
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