Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
