I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Randomize
