You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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