I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
