Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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