What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Randomize
