Your mouth is God's brothel.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Well I just put wine in my tea
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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