I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
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