i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
