thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
