bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
