You smell like a Billy Joel song
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Found the puke drawer
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
