As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
