ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
