Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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