Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
