Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
You've changed since you got that strap on
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