i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
