I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
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