Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
