So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
