You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Pants are for mortals
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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