just survived the first fart of the relationship.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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