i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
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