it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
