I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
