I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
