She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
