turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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