i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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