you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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