i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
