C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
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