I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
No more Irish car bombs ever.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
