she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
