ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Randomize
