I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Randomize
