Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
