STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
