She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
