how hairy? two words: wookie tits
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Randomize
